Fruz's Journey

Hi there! This is my new segment on my blog page (´∩。• ᵕ •。∩`) ♡ In here, I'm gonna pour my thoughts into short organized paragraphs. Mostly inspired by: Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday, my daily life, and other interesting things that happened in my life ( ◜◒◝ )♡

How to conquer fear and be free


Buddha once said, "A man who is free, is a man who is beyond fear." Sometimes, when we fear something, we can't look at the world as truly as is. Your thoughts will be filled with something that doesn't even exist in the first place.

Let's take an example, when you go to the forest, what's in your mind? A lot of beastful animals, right? When the truth is--there is no such thing. You see, fear arises from desire, such as one for survival.

desire creates thoughts--thoughts create fear. So, to stop fear, you have to stop desire. BUT, to stop desire is a desire in itself.

how do we stop clouding our thoughts, then? it's kinda simple but many people take it for granted. be present in life. that's it. do not mourn the past, worry about the future, or think of what could be, but live in the present fully and earnestly. learn to let go of things.

The color of your thoughts


"Your mind will take shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions." - Marcus Aurelius

When someone sits way too long in a chair, it's not something new that the curvature of your spine changes. When someone uses small narrow shoes each day, their feet will begin to take on that form as well.

It goes the same to your mind. If you hold a perpetually negative outlook, soon enough everything you encounter will seem negative.

When you color your mind with the wrong thoughts, your life will be dyed the same.

Be wary of what you let in


"Drama, combat, terror, numbness, and subservience--every day these things wipe out your sacred principles, whenever your mind entertains them uncritically or lets them slip in." - Marcus Aurelius

Have you realized--that how much harder is it do the right thing when you're surrounded by people with low standards? How much harder is it to focus when there are so many things going in your mind?

Well, we'll inevitably be exposed to these influences at some point, no matter how much we try to avoid them.

We have the ability to put our guard up and decide what we actually allow in.

Uninvited guests might arrive at your home, but you don't have to ask them to stay for dinner. You don't have to let them in your mind.

Deceived and divided


"Circumstances are what deceive us--you must be discerning them. We embrace evil before good. We desire the opposite of what we once desired. Our prayers are at war with our prayers, our plans with our plans." - Seneca

Nowadays, many people are deceived and divided. One hand is working against the other. As Martin Luther Jr. once put it, "There is something of a civil war going on within all of our lives," a war inside each individual between the good parts of their soul and the bad.

The simplest example is: a woman says she wants to meet a nice guy and gets married--yet she spends all her time around jerks. A man says that he wishes he could find a great job, but he hasn't actually bothered to do the looking.

Then, what triggers the war inside ourselves? The stoics say it was a result of our conflicting desires, our screwed-up judgments, or biased thoughts. We never really ask ourselves: OK, what do I really want in life? what is the meaning of my life? If we did, we'd notice the contradictory and inconsistent wishes that we have. and then we'd stop working against ourselves.

Life as a painting


Life is like watching a city being burned down. It's horrific. yet the color is so beautiful.

Trauma makes you stronger?


Trauma is no mere thing that you can take easily, "but trauma makes you stronger." such a bullshit thing to say. even tho it's true that there is a saying by Nietzsche that goes: "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." trauma is a whole different thing.

It can completely ruin your relationships, make you forget large portions of your life, and make you feel constantly on edge. trauma makes you traumatized.

Trauma doesn't make you stronger at all. it will weaken you and kills you within. A little shout-out to my s/0 who has been striving this far. I'm proud of you!

Don't let this go to your head


"Make sure you're not made 'Emperor,' avoid that imperial stain. It can happen to you, so keep yourself simple, good, pure, saintly, plain, a friend of justice, god-fearing, gracious, affectionate, and strong for your proper work. Fight to remain the person that philosophy wished to make you. Revere the gods, and look after each other. Life is short--the fruit of this life is a good character and acts for the common good." - Marcus Aurelius

In a future full of lies, one will be struck by luck--a stroke of luck that will bring them success. Whenever you got that chance, always make sure that it doesn't change you--that you must continue to maintain your character despite the temptation not to.

one must have these in their mind: keep yourself simple, good, pure, saintly, plain, a friend of justice, god-fearing, gracious, affectionate, and strong for your proper work.

by then, hopefully, you will actually find your meaning in life. but don't rush, just take it easy. be grateful, always. life is damn short--gotta enjoy every ounce moment of it.

Always verify your instincts


"First off, don't let the force of the impression carry you away. Say to it, 'hold up a bit and let me see who you are and where you are from--let me put you to the test'..." - Epictetus

It is one of many human capabilities to comprehend and categorize things. As Malcolm Gladwell wrote in Blink, we are constantly making split-second decisions based on years of experience and knowledge as using the same skill to confirm prejudices, stereotypes, and assumptions.

we as a human often judge everything that doesn't go as we intended to. we all do it. yet, we should really try to consider our own thoughts. we really should.

Is this really bad? what do I really know about this person? why do have such strong feelings here? Is anxiety really adding much to the situation? what's so special about this someone?

surprisingly, by asking these questions--by putting our impressions to the test as Epictetus recommends--we're likely to be carried away by them or make a move on a mistake or biased one.

of course, we are free to use our instincts whenever we want. but always remember this proverb, 'trust, but verify.' be flexible with your thoughts.

Always prepare yourself for negativity


"When you first rise in the morning tell yourself: I will encounter busybodies, ingrates, egomaniacs, liars, the jealous, and cranks. They are all stricken with these afflictions because they don't know the difference between good and evil. Because I have understood the beauty of good and the ugliness of evil, I know that these wrong-doers are still akin to me . . . and that none can do me harm, or implicate me in ugliness--nor can I be angry at my relatives or hate them. For we are made for cooperation." - Marcus Aurelius

damn panjang juga quotesnya. how can these old greek philosophers be so wise bro🗿

ok, basically what I interpret from Marcus Aurelius's quote is: whenever you wake up in the morning, always have in mind that you are likely gonna interact with someone who seems like a jerk (ya kea kita dah pokoknya). and, when that time came, are you ready?

that's why we need to visualize and prepare it. there is an exercise in a form of a joke from the 18th-century writer and witticist Nicolas Chamfort, who remarked that if you "swallow a toad every morning," you'll be fortified against anything else disgusting that might happen the rest of the day.

surely it will be better if you start the day thinking of swallowing a toad, because, I mean, is there anything else worst than swallowing a toad in the morning...???

there is a second part to this, just as there is the second half of Marcus's quote: "No one can implicate me in ugliness--nor can I be angry at my relative or hate him." when you prepare negativity, you'll be able to act with patience, forgiveness, and understanding, maybe.

Watching the cities


listening to this and watching the cities at night makes me realize how temporary our lives are. everything that happens in life is just a temporary moment, whether it's a feeling of fear, happiness, grief, or love. even our body is temporary.

life is so short--yet there are a lot of things I wanted to experience. there are way too many questions. am I good enough? did I do wrong? is my mom proud and happy of me? is my partner doing good? does my existence matter? I can't stop thinking about all these questions.

guess I need to keep living to know the answers to those questions. hopefully, I can endure this.

I love you?


I love you, says the man.
You always say that, didn't you?
Not occasionally, the sun was brighter than ever,
You're prettier than ever, too.
Oh really? thanks. But I'm afraid.
Of what?
Your words.
My words? how exactly does that frighten you?
You say that you love autumn, but you hate all those leaves.
You say that you love books, but you have neglected them in pieces.
You say that you love the moon, but you always hide in the darkness.
That's exactly why. I'm afraid of your words--
You say that you love me too.

Of all the times we had, why now?


You know what, I just realized that surviving showed me it's better to be alive wishing I was dead than dying wishing I could live forever. If you're planning to end it all--just wait. No need to rush. After all, what's the difference between doing it right now, tomorrow, or later? Endure it. Hang in there champ. I know you can do this.



being in a city as vast as an ocean
without no one to rely on
taught me one thing;
we all lonely people
who is in need of
at the
same time.

Is it okay?


on to the pitch-black road,
i feel like im doing nothing
but running on it.
screaming my lungs out,
yet for nothing.
exhausting myself,
just for something that
doesn't matter in the long run.
sometimes i wonder,
is it really okay for each person
to have a different way
of living?

The moment I've waited for


my brain is too tired to shut down
my hand is shaking like hell
my feet won't even stand up still
my heart is just beating faster and faster
is this it?
is this the moment?
is this what I've waited for?



pain is the proof that you're alive,
scars are the proof
that you have
survived this far



beads of perspiration glistened on my forehead
as I walked on this tree-lined street
listening to the birds chirping
realizing that this life has no meaning

An advice from an old friend


"Happy is the man who can make others better, not merely when he is in their company, but even when he is in their thoughts!"--Seneca

although sometimes it is not worth doing the good, one must have in mind that in this dark world, one needs to be the light for those in need. without expecting any light from others when ours fades away.

- 15 toasts